My beloved left five years ago. There have been many changes during the months that have followed, and yet there always seems to be another "first."
And so this weekend brings still a new one.
One that like all the others weighs the scale of good and bad, and ultimately falls heavier on the positive side.
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Before he left, he assured me all would be well, and I would be "okay." I doubted that, and he reassured me, "The children will be there when you need them. You will see."
And, of course, he was right, and I shouldn't have worried. So for the past sixty months on each holiday, I have traveled either east, west or north.
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The Fabulous Four tried to balance out the invitations for each holiday; some dependent on the weather in various locations of the country, others contingent with business and family obligations. But I have never spent a holiday alone since that sun drenched morning in September at Madonna Heights when he was bade farewell. They created a cocoon of welcome and love that embraced me and never let me forget his departing reassurance.
Until this year, and again, it is another "first." One of my own choosing based on several factors, an upcoming family wedding within the next few weeks, and current repairs to my aging domicile caused by the Winter of all Winters.
Still the scales of life continue to amaze me with wonder at the blessings of life.
The kindness and comfort of friendship. Wonderful caring friends who make you welcome constantly in their world of family and love. Some of those in my incredible circle were not in our world before he left. I so wish he had been able to meet them, and yet I know he is aware of their presence now.
Others are long time pilgrims who shared so much of our journey together. And how blessed we were to have walked the road together.
So on this Glorious Easter when we celebrate the Blessings of the Resurrection, I raise my voice in Thanksgiving. Not only for all those in my incredible family who have guided me through so many lonely months, but for all my amazing friends whose hands have held me upright and kept the moon from turning dark.
