Hanna Montana is all grown up. She was shaking it up there on stage at the VMAs for the whole world to see and if you believe some people, kids all over are going to get the idea that twerking is sexy and fun. Next thing you know they’ll be having sex or drinking in the woods or wait….experimenting with drugs! Lock up your kids. The gateway dance has been performed live.
Here in Massapequa, the Bible Belt, the town where everyone is perfect and nobody has ever done anything wrong in their entire lives, I am hearing a lot of condemnation of Miley Cyrus. I have to wonder a few things. Like for instance, the whole Disney kid thing….do people realize that Hannah Montana was a fictional character. Did Miley Cyrus realize that by getting famous from Disney she also signed a lifetime morals clause in blood?
I ask because I see other celebrities who have behaved much worse than shaking their booty up on stage yet they are considered edgy. Heck, Charlie Sheen got a roast on Comedy Central. Chris Brown was asked to perform twice on the same awards show.
I have to throw in a side comment, as pointed out by a friend, about the 36 year old man who was up on stage with that 20 year old girl for that heavily rehearsed number yet there are no open letters to his wife or mother. In fact his mother also took a jab at Miley.
But anyway, back to Miley. I’ve seen a few things floating around social media, my favorite coming from a writer posting an open letter to her daughter about how she is going to save her from becoming Miley. Of course the moral majority jumped on it and posted and re-posted that stupid letter because, you know, our daughters are now in danger of becoming famous millionaires who have successful acting and recording careers and, oh yeah, shaking their booties onstage.
At least one could hope.
That letter made me want to send my daughter to twerking classes. I’m sure the writer has never met Miley Cyrus or her parents yet she is certain that the performance was a result of poor parenting and Miley never having been told no in her life.
I mean no child who has been told no has ever behaved badly. Right?
Only kids with terrible parents do bad things. Right?
Ok, guess again. Or at least pull your head out of your deep denial because the truth is that teenagers make bad choices. If you don’t believe me then go find The Brady Bunch on Netflix and watch how Marcia has to get hit in the face with a football to learn her lesson. Or maybe watch how Bobby fakes an illness to get Joe Namath over to the house. Personally, I’d like to try that one myself, but as usual, I digress.
Of course I could give many real life examples of kids gone wild, kids with good parents, kids who have caused more than a few grey hairs. I could point out quite a few examples of parents who should pay closer attention to their own children rather than spend their time calling a young girl vile names. But where’s the fun in that? Besides, public shaming has never been my thing and I have a few of my own skeletons that come in the form of teenagers.
Instead I will ask all of those who are morally outraged and looking to protect the innocence of our girls. Where is the sympathy for a girl you’ve all decided lacks parental love and guidance? What does that say about you that you have decided she lacks parental supervision and love and yet still call her a pig or post memes on social media of her with camels because that’s your smarmy way of saying its hump day.
That’s really keeping it classy.
You are the moral voices? The ones protecting our daughters? Do me a favor. Stay away from my daughter. She’s just fine without your hypocritical double standard that you try to pass off as morals.
I would like to write my own open letter to all of the kids with parents who think that a celebrity, a kid who was thrust into the limelight as a child, should be a role model. I want to tell those kids that there are people who will love and support them even when there own parents are too busy joining the angry mob on social media and calling a 20 year old girl names. I want to tell them that life is short. Go out there and twerk like there’s no tomorrow. There will still be people who love you.
