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Boobies For Babies

No 24 ounce soda. No formula. What's going to be next on Mayor Bloomberg's list?

In a far far away land there is a man who rules the land with an iron fist. Ok, so I’m being a little dramatic but Mayor Bloomberg is at it again. Now that he’s declared soda, or rather any soda larger than 16 ounces, the enemy, he needs more to add to his new how to be healthy list.

The Mayor would like hospitals to lock up baby formula so that new moms will be forced to breastfeed. If a new mom does not want to breastfeed, the nurse is supposed to twist her arm, I mean, give her an educational speech on the benefits of breastfeeding because most new moms have probably never considered whether to breastfeed or not right up until that first in the hospital feeding. If that doesn’t work, the nurse must then write down a medical reason before going off in search of that locked cabinet in which the formula is being kept from that terrible new mom. Let’s hope mom gets tired of waiting and chooses to breastfeed out of fear that her baby will starve before the nurse can ever get back with that bottle.

There it is. Lock up the Similac right next to the oxycontin.

Forget the drug problem. Those pesky dealers, or doctors, have a very loyal fan base and who is the Mayor to get in the way of that.  Forget the schools. It’s not fun anymore harassing the teachers and wasn’t that program where we paid parents to get their kids to go to school a raging success? Wasn’t it?  I’m sure there are zillions of other quality of life issues to worry about in NYC. Giuliani went after the squeegee men and hookers. Bloomberg will do him one better.

Get the new moms.

Let’s get the new moms right in the hospital, right after they’ve gone through labor, just as they’ve fallen in love with their precious bundle, right after they’ve read every baby book ever written and are sure that they are NEVER going to make any mistakes because they are prepared.

There is nothing quite like being a new mom, high on baby books knowing that  everything that could possibly go right or wrong was covered in those pages. There’s also the guilt of being a new mom who secretly worries that she’s ruined her baby’s chances of getting into college because she chose the epidural because, well, labor hurts and whoever wrote in the book that drugs are bad should have to eat the book when you hit the 5 centimeter dilation mark. Of course my suggestion that they eat the book is way nicer than what I’d really do to them with that book.

But I digress. The Mayor.

There is something oddly comforting the way the Mayor describes the nurse as being too busy to go search out the formula. If we can’t cure all the ills facing NYC, then by all means, let’s make sure the nurses really earn their pay. Its not like they’re busy or anything.

It's stories like this that make me wish I were rich. If I could afford it, I’d visit every maternity ward in NYC with Big Gulps for new moms. It could be a new form of protest. Just picture it. I’d walk in with my huge jug of soda and then sit down and horrify the new mom with stories of my teenagers. I can see the new mom’s face now. You mean they really do that? I’d smile sympathetically at her and nod. Oh, honey, that’s not the half of it. You think the delivery was rough? Colic? I’d have to chuckle at that. Let me tell you about 15 through 19. There’s no book that can ever prepare you for those firsts. Let’s see….the first time they tell you they hate you, the first time they bring home that friend you’ll hate, the first time they steal your car. Yes. Plenty of firsts.  And so far no mom has been brave enough to start a group called, “Let’s take them swimming in the undertow.”

Perhaps the Mayor missed a genius marketing move. He could patent buttons and require all maternity nurses to wear them. Whip it out. Boobies for babies.  It would be the start of a whole forced breast feeding movement. When he’s done with that he could start examining episiotomies. Who needs one? Who does not?

When are New Yorkers going to say enough to Mayor Bloomberg? Doesn’t he have bigger things to worry about than a mother’s choice to breastfeed or not?  

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

paul August 08, 2012 at 11:26 PM
To Linda Martins: Kudos to you.. You are 100 percent correct. Kristen does not seem to understand what she has written. I wish she would open her eyes and read it again........
paul August 08, 2012 at 11:34 PM
To David: Since you have made a comment or two with my name in it I will cheerfully acknowledge your comments with this: It appears you were asked to make some remarks or give an opinion on on this topic as well as another.... If I am wrong so be it. I wont loose any sleep over it.... But it sure seems that way. If I am correct which I think I may be, shame on you..... I can run circles around you, but I don't want you to get dizzy....
paul August 08, 2012 at 11:45 PM
To Susan: It seems like you start to side with those who have tried to run circles around you but are no match for you and then you get frustrated to make a point... Also seems like a matter of keeping your enemies close in case if you need them as backup for your opinion so you can seem right. You have done this many a times..... Just stating fact from past blogs too.... These blogs are just a matter of ones opinion. That is what they are written for. If Kristen wants to write a blog and read all the comments which is good thing that is great. But to go ahead and twist an opinion of someone who makes a comment makes her a weak commentator as blog writer... Just like a prior blogger has done in the past....... That is my story and I am sticking with it......
Helen August 08, 2012 at 11:58 PM
Kristen, While my intention was to only get my voice out there it does seem that I stirred the pot. Actually, that's not a bad thing as we are all entitled to express our thoughts here, whether they be valid contributions or not; however; the lurkers that lurk in pathetic hopes of having their moment of fame detract from those who have literal thoughts to share. Can we NOT start slinging the you-know-what and keep this on track and informative - even enjoyable? These blogs/comments make me hungry you know why? They are all twisted into pretzels and I love pretzels! LOL --- always find a way to smile.....always.
moose August 09, 2012 at 12:56 AM
there are several reasons why the formula is being monitored. one reason from my own experience, i know nurses who give it out freely and leave bottles in a room with a mother who has specifically asked to breastfeed only. breastfeeding can be difficult. after a birth you are tired and want to make sure your childs needs are met. if a nurse leaves a bottle with you "just in case" many women would be likely to believe their baby "is not latching properly" or they "must not be making enough milk" because their baby wants to continually nurse. rather than allowing the formula to be freely given out it is important that when a mom says "i think i should just give the baby a bottle" the nurses will now ask WHY and can provide support and give that mom what she needs. if the mom says "i dont think the baby is getting milk" the nurse or lactation consultant can step in and help. not to mention formula companies are selling a product and want that product to be used by new moms. they have a foot in the hospitals right now and there is no need to encourage that.
moose August 09, 2012 at 01:04 AM
I also have to say not only is it narrow minded but it is rude to suggest moms should have prior knowledge and information about breastfeeding. many women may not have access to information for a variety of reasons. the hospital is the appropriate environment to share the information for infant care. in fact, we would be doing women a disservice if we did not provide that information at that critical time.
Kristen Ferrari August 09, 2012 at 01:21 AM
Helen, The comments don't bother me. I think discussion is a good thing even when people don't agree. Some of the twisting isn't fun, but its part of the fun I supposes. You made me laugh about the pretzels. In fact, you make me want pretzels, lol!
Kristen Ferrari August 09, 2012 at 01:26 AM
Moose, You don't give pregnant women enough credit. Many pregnant women read books, buy parenting magazines, talk to their ob/gyn, interview pediatricians, etc. I don't know many new moms that don't avail themselves to all of the resources available to them well before the birth. I'd like you to find me a group of moms who have gotten pregnant and not thought about their baby or anything regarding life after birth until they have delivered. I don't think you'll find many if you find any at all. Most moms that I know that wanted to breastfeed and had difficulty requested help from the nurses or a representative of La Leche, who by the way, make themselves available on a maternity ward. I also don't see anything wrong with a nurse asking a new mom if she wants to breastfeed. I just don't think that a new mom should have to explain her reasons in a way that fits a medically necessary way in order to receive formula nor should she have to listen to a lecture when she's already decided what she wants to do. Education is great. Handing out formula on a conditional basis is not great nor is it education.
David August 09, 2012 at 01:35 AM
It "appears" I was asked to comment??? Can you show me where it appears? No one asked me to do anything. As far as I know, I don't even know anyone who commented. I finally felt the need to speak up after reading the drivel and garbage that spews from your mouth or in this case, your fingers. As far as running circles around me, since you rarely have had an intelligent thing to say about anything, I truly doubt that. I couldn't care less if you lose sleep or not. How do you even live with yourself?? You are one very unhappy person.
Susan August 09, 2012 at 01:49 AM
First of all, Paul, I never directed ANY comments to you at all so why do you need to butt in & make nasty comments to me? Oh yeah, it's what you do. Keep MY name out of your disgusting remarks. I can sue you for libel. You have no clue what you are even talking about as usual. I haven't twisted anything. Enemies? Circles? Just make things up. Second of all, there are a few people who post here that also have the user name Susan. I complained to Mike about it a few times. Now before you go and tell me (in your really sick way), that you've tracked the "Susan" comments and they are all mine, they are in this blog as far as I know. Also, I don't have to explain myself to you. Now since the only way you ever make your point is to be insulting, I'll do it your way. ( I usually don't sling around personal insults on the Patch but here goes). Your comments make you look like a fool. You add nothing credible to the picture at all EVER. You just insult everyone and tell them they are mentally ill. Well you must be an expert ! You need to stop criticizing & ridiculing EVERYONE who comments on the Patch who you don't agree with. You already made one blogger totally stop blogging with your abusive disgusting comments, threats, and personal attacks. He should have sued you. I would have if I was him. You are a miserable person whose only happiness comes from making others miserable. I feel sorry for you.
paul August 09, 2012 at 02:43 AM
To Susan: I think you need to look at how many times you used my name in your comments thus directing something to me. Which of course is your prerogative. You want to always strangle people when they have disagreed with you now and in the past. Not a bad idea about keeping your enemies close... Please look at all your posts where you have used my name or have had someone disagree with you.... Several places. Are you that forgetful?
paul August 09, 2012 at 02:53 AM
To David: " I don't even know anyone who commented. I finally felt the need to speak up after reading the drivel and garbage that spews from your mouth or in this case, your fingers. " If that is your story you can stick with it. Your right!!!!!.... Whether I believe anything you have stated is my prerogative.......
Susan August 09, 2012 at 02:55 AM
I used your name exactly ONCE in a comment last night when I told you to go to bed. You must have me confused with all the other people who have disagreed with you. I have never had the urge to strangle anyone but I guess a sick mind like yours would all the time..
Rebecca August 09, 2012 at 02:56 AM
You're talking two totally different things. Mayor Bloomberg is trying to dictate the medical choice of new mothers, without understanding how many shades of grey there are when it comes to breastfeeding. In stark contrast, Chick-fil-Ahole is against civil rights, and fully deserves to be boycotted and blocked from expansion. But that's another topic entirely.
Rebecca August 09, 2012 at 03:00 AM
Actually, you DO see the "bar cart" in other countries. Belgium hospitals give beer to new mothers, you can look it up.
Rebecca August 09, 2012 at 03:03 AM
I beg to differ. We need the Residents for Efficient Special Districts group, and we needed it years ago. Unless 1,000-plus different districts for schools, water, sewer, sanitation, police, and fire protection are simply not enough??
David August 09, 2012 at 03:09 AM
So in your very small world, if someone new comments on the Patch, they had to be asked by someone else to do it?? You can keep believing that. As you said, it's your prerogative. You have a strange prerogative to begin with. It's called "Paul is right and the entire rest of the world is wrong." And what's with reprinting what I JUST wrote? That never answered my question as to where it appears. I wrote that AFTER you said it appears I was asked to comment. Like I said, intelligence is a factor here. I asked you to show me where it appeared and you took a statement I made AFTER the fact. If you are trying to back up a statement you made, you need to do that with a remark made BEFORE. You just lost that debate. HA! Keep bringing on those circles you said you can run around me. I know this logic must confuse you.
moose August 09, 2012 at 03:22 AM
dont tell me when i give enough credit. many women who give birth do not have access to proper healthcare for a variety of reasons. not everyone lives with the advantages you may be comfortable with. and formula is not going to be conditional, you want formula you get it. you may want to actually look up the plan for latch on NYC. it would be a good idea instead of making up information :)
paul August 09, 2012 at 03:24 AM
OK Susan here we go. PS: I used X's to remove a name to protect the innocent. There was more but this was enough for now - you asked and I find....... These were used by you... See below: You have not not added one intelligent thing in all your remarks. Clearly, like most times, they are meant to belittle and berate the writer. Go to bed, Paul. Like Paul, you just start calling people names saying they are lazy and selfish. First of all, Paul, I never directed ANY comments to you at all so why do you need to butt in & make nasty comments to me? Oh yeah, it's what you do. Keep MY name out of your disgusting remarks. I can sue you for libel.
paul August 09, 2012 at 03:25 AM
Previous comments either from you or to you: See below: XXXX, a question please. I'm not looking for an argument. Since East Meadow Avenue was always a business area, why did you chose to live there? Susan - not arguing, just replying. Easy Susan !!! like you I have as much right to voice my opinion as you do. LOL a needfor a bird store whatever!!! lol new you couldn't read my sonic post where for it NOT against it so sweetie get your facts straight before you mouth off Easy Susan !!! like you I have as much right to voice my opinion as you do. Since you barely have a nice thing to say about the neighborhood you live in, forgive me for missing what might have been the one positive thing. So again Susan read try to understand what people are really saying. @ Susan you have used it more then I. I said it once and you keep bringing it up .its obvious your not capable of a good debate both you and Susan need to get off your high horses and realize that whether you like it or not people are entitled to their opinions you don't have to agree just as i don't have to agree with you but i would never provoke unless provoked to stoop to your level. Making a statement like you did about me riling up the community your sad...very sad
paul August 09, 2012 at 03:38 AM
To David: The word appears has multiple meanings. Unfortunately you are insisting that something you said actually appears that you have written it. The word appears as used by me which you missed the obvious, is the meaning of - it is seems to be : Like It seems to give the impression of being - she appeared not to know what was happening - it appears unlikely that interest rates will fall - he appeared unaware of the rebuke What about the circles?
Susan August 09, 2012 at 03:39 AM
This was about you. You said I used YOUR name in my comments in this article! I used it once when not responding directly to you, you ass. Clearly this proves just how sick you are. You just spend all this time copying and pasting comments made by a "Susan" since the Patch has been existence to prove what?? You just proved what a sick individual you are. Since you have now put me out there for the world to see, I guess I am free to do the same. So here's what you are going to do now. You're going to take down all those out of context comments that had nothing to do with this thread, or I will tell everyone on the Patch exactly who you are, what you did for a living, and your address and phone number. That ought to be really something. You better hurry up, I'm busy writing out the info. Also, I've already filed a harassment complaint with the NCPD. They can't wait to investigate!!
paul August 09, 2012 at 03:51 AM
To Susan: Thanks for writing that piece.... Others will probably wonder what you are about.... First you stated: "You just spend all this time copying and pasting comments made by a "Susan" since the Patch has been existence to prove what??" Made by a Susan???? Not sure what you mean.... Then you stated: "Since you have now put me out there for the world to see." First denial which you can do. Second getting furious about putting it out their..... Please explain....Sorry It is not clear????
David August 09, 2012 at 03:52 AM
Thank you very much for those definitions. I wondered what the word meant. You really are something. I asked you show where it appears (using any definition) and you answered it by quoting a comment I made after you asked the question, which of course, proved nothing. So define all the words you want. You still have not proved whatever point you were trying to make. There was still nothing in my comments that made it "appear" that someone else asked me to write it. Oh and by the way, you really are harassing Susan and she really can sue for you libel. I'm done responding to your nonsense. Please get some much needed help.
marianne krause August 09, 2012 at 04:09 AM
Moose you need to understand that this is not a 3rd world country information is out there women and young girls do talk to each other most have a doctor or a clinic to go to . the information is available and guess what we do really seek it out. we are not as stupid as you seem to portray us as.
paul August 09, 2012 at 04:13 AM
You are too funny. ;o) A time limit?????. Oh I forgot we are all adults....
marianne krause August 09, 2012 at 04:15 AM
@Susan no worries about what he posted...it was a very lively debate and no hard feelings . sorry he had the need to dredge things up sorry he is making something out of nothing... :)
Susan August 09, 2012 at 04:16 AM
You are right. It's in the hands of the police now.
marianne krause August 09, 2012 at 04:17 AM
paul August 09, 2012 at 04:20 AM
Does anyone know what time it is?


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