.
Feedback

Up Close and Personal with an Illegal

Illegal aliens, as they are called, aren't always here voluntarily, at least not the kids brought and raised here.

Lately, it is hard to go anywhere without hearing debates about illegal immigrants.

Whether it is turning on the news, reading a paper, or even talking to someone in the grocery store, chances are there will be talk about illegal immigrants. Some talk calls for deporting all of them. You know, they're eating up all of our tax dollars. Other talk is more sympathetic and wants to give them things, because there's enough tax dollars to spare. At least that's some of the talk.

I had my own experience with a young woman who was here illegally and it made me rethink some of my views on the "illegal problem."

My son brought home a group of friends he'd met at work one day not that long ago. One of these friends was a young Mexican girl. They all stayed for dinner and when it was time for everyone to leave she thanked me profusely for my hospitality. It stayed with me how appreciative she was about a few slices of pizza.

She came back a few more times after that and spoke of wanting to attend college and trying to find a job that would pay a decent salary. Many of the jobs she was working at were very menial labor for very low wages. I have to admit that I took notice of how hard she hustled to find any kind of work and I thought of my own teenagers, one who worked and one who thought work was bringing his plate down from his room.

Finally I asked her why she was having such difficulty and she told me that she was not here legally. Her parents had brought her here when she was 2. They had two more kids who were citizens because they were born here. She was the one in limbo. Deportation wasn't a worry for her as much as making a decent life for herself.

Now before you all start screaming about the free education she received and our tax dollars that were a benefit to her educationally, please, just think about her as a person for a minute who had no choice in any of this. She was brought here by her parents. She was allowed to attend and graduate school. Now at 20 she is unable to work a regular job because she has no papers or social security card which also means she cannot graduate college.

Mexico is a strange land to her. She thinks of America as her country and who really can blame her? Living in a place for 18 years sort of makes a person feel as if they're home, even if a majority hates them.

Now you can scream. I don't blame you. I pay taxes too and I'm a single mom who has struggled heartily to care for my kids, citizens. I have gone years without health care because I couldn't afford the ridiculously priced COBRA payments after losing my job. I have avoided becoming one of the numbers at Social Services though I know many who were not as fortunate. We are having trouble taking care of our own. Why should we also take care of them? I know. I know. I've heard all the arguments and they aren't wrong.

But still. I watched how hard this girl has tried to build a life and the reality is here in America, the land of immigrants, she will be stuck working off the books jobs which means someone's cleaning woman or maybe nanny. What else can she do? And how can I scream and beat my chest in anger when I look at this poor girl who is a victim of circumstances, circumstances beyond her control. I can't.

I did make some inquiries to see what she could do to become legal, but it seems nearly impossible. Even though she was brought here as a minor, a toddler, she cannot petition from this country. Or at least that was the rule a few months ago. She needs a sponsor. Her brothers are her best chance though they aren't of legal age yet so she has a few years. Meanwhile she waits in limbo picking up odd jobs here and there, taking buses everywhere, never really getting anywhere.

You don't have to feel sorry for her. But I do.

Kristen Ferrari September 16, 2012 at 01:05 pm
Fred,
I think another thing to look at is that regardless of whether or not they're getting citizenship, they're still coming and building their version of a life here. I'm not going to excuse stealing socials and things like that because it does have adverse affects on people. They're coming. Even without a promise of citizenship or what many Americans would consider a decent life. So what kind of preventative is there that would stop that, and one that wouldn't cost us billions of dollars in taxes. I do look at them as people just like us and I'm extremely grateful when I look at my 15 year old daughter and I think about her future vs that of a girl brought here illegally by her parents. We are very lucky.
fred September 17, 2012 at 12:23 pm
Krisiten they come for economic reasons. Since it is impossible to build a fence that would keep illegals out, we should make it impossible for an illegal to get a job- maybe we need ID cards.
Kristen Ferrari September 17, 2012 at 05:46 pm
Fred, Do you really believe id cards are the answer?
Robert September 17, 2012 at 06:38 pm
for all those that think illegals only take low, low paying jobs....http://www.examiner.com/article/illegal-alien-it-s-not-easy-to-find-a-job-like-that?cid=db_articles
Robert September 17, 2012 at 06:43 pm
unemployment amongst teenagers trying to find part time jobs... and a few blurbs about stolen SScards..http://www.examiner.com/article/illegal-immigration-resulting-lack-of-jobs-for-teenagers-as-well
Port North Resident September 17, 2012 at 06:45 pm
I just read your piece which is certainly thought provoking. Here is my take on the situation, first the United States has an 8.3% unemployment rate, I am of the belief that the jobs in this country should go to those who are here legally. Americans are hurting right now and for every job an illegal immigrant has it is one that an American citizen or legal immigrant is unable to get.
While the plight of your son's friend is unfortunate, what do we say to our children about our society, if we are a society of laws, they need to be enforced, not just the ones we like. While I do feel bad for this young lady, as she truly is caught between a rock and a hard place, I just think of a friend of mine who is a legal immigrant who had to wait 10 years to come here legally, while others just hopped the fence. I hate to be the voice of dissent, but the Dream Act failed in Congress, it is time we enforce the laws and send those here illegally back to their country of origin, and when they are back in their country of origin; if we want to expedite their applications for a green card, I would be okay with that.
Robert September 17, 2012 at 06:47 pm
dispels the notion that all monies sent back " south of the border" is in a criminal manner..http://www.examiner.com/article/amid-u-s-unemployment-crisis-illegal-aliens-sending-even-more-money-to-mexico
Robert September 17, 2012 at 06:49 pm
school enrollment...http://www.pewhispanic.org/2012/08/20/hispanic-student-enrollments-reach-new-highs-in-2011/
Kristen Ferrari September 17, 2012 at 07:31 pm
Robert, I wasn't able to open either link.
Kristen Ferrari September 17, 2012 at 07:37 pm
Post North Resident, I'm right there with you that I want citizens to get jobs first. You lose me when you say send them home and expedite applications for green cards. If we're going to expedite it, why not skip the sending them home part? What sense does it make to make them come home if we're going to get them back quickly? I don't see that as a solution.
I know two other people who have lived here for many years and never became citizens. One is from Italy and another from Ireland. Both came as kids and their parents never filed papers. Both were eventually given visas but didn't become citizens and in one case the visa ran out so technically she is here illegally. Is there the same push to deport her?
Kristen Ferrari September 17, 2012 at 07:37 pm
Still can't open.
Port North Resident September 17, 2012 at 08:00 pm
Kristen, the reason I say send them back, is there has to be some sense of fair play, to deny someone who is legally waiting in their country of origin for their papers to be processed so that they can come here legally; for us to simply to push people who are here illegally ahead of them is simply wrong. As for your friend who's visa ran out, for her because she followed the proper protocols to come here in the first place, I would have no problems if it were up to me granting her a visa extension retroactively. My issue is not with those who let their paperwork lapse but for the ones who didn't file any to start with.
Robert September 17, 2012 at 08:23 pm
http://www.examiner.com/article/amid-u-s-unemployment-crisis-illegal-aliens-sending-even-more-money-to-mexico
Robert September 17, 2012 at 08:24 pm
http://www.pewhispanic.org/2012/08/20/hispanic-student-enrollments-reach-new-highs-in-2011/
Robert September 17, 2012 at 08:24 pm
there ya go..
Robert September 17, 2012 at 08:29 pm
I'm from an Irish family, who has had people from the old country here, illegally.. they were caught, and deported... their loss for not filling the right papers, and caused a few family kerfuffles when they asked the family here, citizens of this country , to help them get jobs, and were denied..they were told to go back and do it the right way, and we would sponsor them, but they were firmly told that they would receive no help from us...
fred September 17, 2012 at 08:30 pm
Kristen I don't know if ID cards are the answer. I do know we can't stop them at the border so we have to make the risk of coming here exceed the reward. If they can't find jobs there would be no reason for them to come here. Lastly another fallout is that cheap labor stifles innovation.
monkey lewis September 18, 2012 at 09:23 am
lets only keep the hot ladies between 18-34 and kick out ugly ones,men and children
Robert September 18, 2012 at 10:15 am
monkey.. that might take a humorous note in a bar, out with the boys, after a few beers, but it is certainly not appropriate for this thread, or debate, on a troubling national issue.... now go back to your mothers basement, and try not to break the X box, K ? and dinner is at 6pm, don't be late, or Mom will be upset with you..
Kristen Ferrari September 18, 2012 at 10:18 am
Robert, again, I guess our experiences are very different because although the people I know haven't brought attention to themselves. The fear is more that they cannot leave the country for a vacation because they won't get back in. None fear deportation as far as the Irish and Italian ones go. From what I've heard the deportation process can be lengthy and expensive so I do have to wonder if that is the answer or if that will be another way that it will cost us a fortune in taxes.
Kristen Ferrari September 18, 2012 at 10:23 am
Fred, the girl that I know makes less than minimum wage sometimes and works around the clock taking buses all over Long Island which surely eats into that. I can't imagine that she's getting rich like that and if that is better than their own country I don't know what we can do to dissaude them from coming here. This is a situation that doesn't have any easy answers and while I certainly understand people's anger and frustrations, especially in this economy, I don't know that its a problem that is going to be resolved any time soon.
Kristen Ferrari September 18, 2012 at 10:25 am
Robert, but are they all illegal?
Kristen Ferrari September 18, 2012 at 10:36 am
Robert, I was able to open the link. I'm not disputing that they send money back home. That was never my argument. Are they really stealing our jobs though? What types of jobs are they working? We have laws that are designed to prevent landscapers from hiring undocumented workers. Of course, I don't think the law is worth the paper it is written on, but is it that the landscaping companies filled a void? When I was a kid most people didn't have landscapers or if they did it was the neighbor kid looking to make money.
I only know of 3 people personally who have landscaping businesses who are not Hispanic. They are pretty busy but overall landscaping doesn't seem to be a business that many Americans, at least here on Long Island, look to build. Is it because its seasonal? Long hours? Hard work? I don't know why that is but is it that the illegals are stealing that from us? And what other kinds of jobs are they stealing? And please don't take it to mean don't recognize a problem or even think that we should let everyone in and give them all citizenship. I just don't know that there are easy solutions to this and I am very sympathetic because of what I have seen.
Ranger Sewer September 19, 2012 at 02:23 pm
Howcome nobody feels sorry for the AMERICAN TAXPAYER who is FORCED at the point of a GUN to pay HIGHER TAXES so the ILLEGALS can enjoy their free emergency room child births and all the add on that GOVERMENT COLLECTS BY FORCE?
Maybe when somebody breaks into your home and makes demands by force, you will think differently, very differently.
Kristen Ferrari September 19, 2012 at 03:07 pm
Ranger Sewer, I didn't realize that feeling sorry for a girl I met somehow disqualified me from sympathizing with all of the Americans who are suffering through these difficult economic times.
As far as someone breaking into my home, I'm going to hope that you are speaking theoretically.
Ralph Nesberino September 20, 2012 at 02:05 am
This conversation has gone on for a week. This is a very hot button topic. People are polarized sitting on both sides of at least a 10 foot fence. Many good arguments are put forth, pro and con. Opinions galore!!! Hear me=== no, hear ME!!!
The point is, who or what is running the show, to finally make the real and final decision. It is NOT me or you. It's our politicians--- of all people. If the politician knows he or she can win the election by siding with a particular group of people, he certainly will. It's all about winning the election, not what's best for society in general. We as a society are shooting ourselves in the foot allowing this to happen. We and our personal opinions and desires are overshadowed by our political system which allows candidates to say or do anything for their personal ."success". We can blog all we want, but OUR representatives will decide who goes and who stays.
Kristen Ferrari September 20, 2012 at 10:44 am
Ralph, you say that a politician will side with a group or issue because of votes, but isn't that the nature of politics and not just when it comes to this one issue. I've written my legislators and senators. I've attended legislative sessions. I've made a general nuisance out of myself to make sure they all know what I want as a taxpaying voter. But I have to admit that I don't do it often enough.
Your point is a good one though and we should all be more involved in many of the issues facing us. Our country is in crisis right now and I understand people's frustration over people here illegally getting any kind of benefit, but again, I didn't write this hoping we'd let everyone in and give them things. I wrote it because I had an up close and personal view into the life of just one of them and I saw the sadness in the situation from a different side.
Robert September 20, 2012 at 11:40 am
where's Patrick, and Joe.. they hav't come back to this in a while... wonder why/
David January 17, 2013 at 06:54 am
I am from mexico. People make it like sound like they are being sent back to a country that tortures and is in the slums. Mexico is a vibrant economy with some of the richest people in the world. Someone who is fortunate to be educated in the U.S. as a child and able to return to Mexico has a head start in life.
Dont listen to this crap how we should bend the rules for everyone who brakes the law to get what they think they are entitled to just because they seem nice or work hard. The Lifeboat is full, the hospitals are over crowded, residents are over taxed, and the schools speak for them selves.
Kristen Ferrari January 17, 2013 at 01:17 pm
David,
Mexico does have some of the richest people in the world but I don't think they are the ones who are sneaking across the borders hoping to educate their children and get healthcare. Do you live in the US? Why if Mexico is such a land of opportunity are you living here?

Newsletter & Alerts

Get the best stories each day and important breaking news

Subscribe

Not from Massapequa Patch? Find your Local Patch »

Note Article
Just a short thought to get the word out quickly about anything in your neighborhood.
Share something with your neighbors. Write a new post... What's up? Make an announcement, speak your mind, or sell something
LT June 16, 2013 at 09:52 am
when you say elite do you mean the hard working people who have money? it's a matter of labels. youRead More call them elite..they call themselves hard workers. yes, some inherit money. but most of us work for it.
Michael Taustine June 16, 2013 at 09:01 pm
No, it has nothing to do with how hard you work. It's just that the elite one percenters are treatedRead More differently when they run afoul of the laws in this country. No one has been jailed for the corporate malfeasance that resulted in the financial crash of '08, in spite of the rules that were ignored or broken. Too big to fail is the order of the day. Meanwhile, petty frauds committed by poor and middle class are prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Two Americas. The rule of law, unevenly applied, whether by race, or class, or economic station will result in the unraveling of society. We may well be seeing the beginnings of that now, as we've entered a new gilded age, where new robber barons are allowed to run roughshod over the lower classes. The very ideals of America are at stake, and we are letting them slide away.
Jack coyote June 12, 2013 at 03:24 pm
Will the new Massapequa station platform be covered end-to-end as it is now? If it will only beRead More partially covered, like Seaford station, there are going to be a lot of cold, wet, unhappy commuters.
Patrick O'Hara June 12, 2013 at 04:14 pm
Mr. Coyote, The design plans only call for a canopy over certain parts of the station platform, likeRead More almost all of the other stations along the branch. The canopies will be primarily over the staircases, elevator, waiting room, and one other small section on the middle section of the platform between the elevator and east escalator.
mj June 12, 2013 at 01:43 pm
Also blocks along Alhambra Road including Granada and Sutton. It rained the other day and was up toRead More the front lawn on one house that is still being renovated from Sandy!!!! Horrible if those owners saw this.